ABBA REALLY HEALS!
Life After Loss:29 years later. (copyrighted By Elder Dorn J.B. Walker)
As we near the holidays, I am mindful that as some are preparing for precious family times and elaborate menus and décor, the emotions of others are beginning to spiral down. So I am stirred to write to all who would read and receive comfort during this difficult time. It’s been a while; but there is never a written word until Abba inspires me.
As I think back some 29 years ago, I know that Abba really heals! (Father God is truly our Source of Healing and Wholeness). He healed me and I am His Ambassador; fully persuaded and determined to represent Him—He is the Healer and the Great Physician over all of our cares, brokenness, burdens, worries, issues, and stress; no matter how deep the pain.
As you read this BLOG, don’t cry for me, I am free and my prayer is that you too will make the right choice to freedom! On this very date on October 21st in 1986, I became conscious of eternity and I was presented with pressing choices at the young age of 23—the choices were screaming—WHAT WILL IT BE? My choices included: (1) Do I settle with depression, heartache, stress, and emotional pain? Do I wallow in self-pity with a constant victim mentality? OR…there it was the big OR; (2) Would I be willing to accept and receive the Love, Joy, and Peace instead of my destructive emotional PAIN by learning to live free with Jesus, God’s only begotten Son, who rules and who reigns? Yes, He wants us to reign with Him and to truly experience the power of His resurrection from every low place. We can get to that place and we can get there now!
I am so free and yes, I didn’t and I don’t suppress! Suppression is a fake place and I don’t wear masks or believe in them. No masquerades for me please! What you see is what you get! I like and I am attracted to real things—because they make us “free” to be who we were always meant to be. This is a beautiful place of no hindrances. As I learned to turn over my crazy life to Jesus, He taught me how to move forward intentionally, cautiously, and purposefully until everything that hindered no longer blocked my view to freedom’s destiny.
As every emotional moment seemed to press me down, I looked forward to the supernatural RISE to higher heights and to a deeper sensing of Abba’s love and closeness. I simply learned that no matter what, He WILL NEVER LET GO! He has me!
In my book, “Life After Loss: A Journey Into Wholeness”, my very first Pastor, the late Dr. Charles Phillips writes in his foreword—“By death, divorce, abandonment, rejection, or any other of life’s occasional cruelties, it hurts to lose. The sense of loss is difficult to articulate in that its intangibility is relative. Paul states in Second Corinthian 1:8, “…that we were pressed out of measure…” As this great apostle tried to express the depth of his despair, there was no way to measure it. There was just the sense of pleasure exhausted. The unfortunate part of passing this way is that many feel destined to remain at this state in life. If you are one of those who arrive at this address; you have several options open to you. The choice you make will determine your future…”
Yes, we have the power to choose. As we choose, don’t bargain and switch relentlessly. God is not into the business of bait and switch. We can make permanent choices that will forever change us and mold our future with permanent strength and wholeness. Keep in mind that our wholeness directly or indirectly affects everyone around us—either positively or negatively. When we choose wholeness, everybody wins. Come on, GO FOR IT! As you choose to win, everyone around you will also win and that is some awesomely great news! (Whole people attracting whole people–wholeheartedly!) Wow, I like that! It came right through me…I would not have thought of that!
Here is my story—Part I
On October 21, 1986, my husband’s death began a series of tragedies that left me feeling trapped in an enormous storm with gigantic whirlwinds. (Yes, I became a widow at the age of 23.) On this date, I was a college student with 6 weeks left to complete my bachelor’s degree in Accounting—and I had to choose–I also had a 4 year old daughter—I became a single parent and I had to choose. I had no job—but I had to choose.
I will never forget that day. I was home studying for an exam while my husband, Steuart H. Wheatley, went fishing with friends. At about 4:00 p.m. the Police called my home to tell me that there had been an accident. The Police went on to say that your husband had accidently drowned—His voice trailed off in the distance…My life instantly turned into a nightmare which I knew I had to wake up from—If I stayed there, I would die and I wanted to. What a pitiful state. Four days later, my Uncle Emmanuel Bertrand died suddenly from a heart attack. A month later, a $150,000 lawsuit was filed against me from a traffic incident that occurred two years earlier. Also, I learned that my oldest sister, Gloria, was terminally ill with breast cancer. She died seven months later. Gloria was a second Mom to me and I loved her dearly (As I write this blog, I also honor my sister and remind all of us about breast cancer awareness Month).
I cried uncontrollably for weeks. I was suicidal, numb, and I could not sleep. My motivation for life was gone and I almost dropped out of College because I saw no reason to continue. I was losing my mind and I felt as though no one understood what I was going through. My tragedies were too much for me to bear. At the age of 23, my life should be just beginning. Instead, it felt as though it ended…Why, God, why?
I came to a point of brokenness and surrender. This is the place where new life begins. Will you take a few moments right now to recount your own story of brokenness? Take your time. You may want to start with a diary or a piece of paper and allow all of your emotions to press through. Healing begins when we admit that we cannot in our own strength put the pieces back together again. ( I wish Humpty Dumpty had caught on to this. We could have saved him!) On a serious note, recounting the story of your emotional pain has a purpose. Your story is as a dirt filled bucket that needs to be dumped. The dirt represents the hurts, disappointments, and emotional pain in our lives. Any solution (liquid) added to the dirt will only turn into mud…the mud represents a constant life of obscurity, confusion, and darkness…with bad choices; always going around in circles; and with a foot hold of always living in bondage. The reality is that We need to yield the dirt to God who can supernaturally unload the filth! This is the 1st step…in your Journey Into Wholeness…Hold on and stay tuned for Part II. God can and will take you there. Let us journey through the Holidays together! Love, Joy, and Peace be unto you.
Copyrighted by Elder Dorn Wheatley Walker (Author of “Life After Loss: A Journey Into Wholeness”).